Parenting does not come naturally to an ENTJ. They tend to be the head of wherever they are, even in the case of family life. Their driven and somewhat forceful personality is like to irk some members and make family life difficult. However, this is also a challenge for them and something they are likely to overcome as well.
At first glance, an ENTJ may seem like a misfit as a parent. Their focus is more towards the professional life rather than the people one. Hence, they find it difficult in the parenting department. But like any other commitment, children are also an asset where they invest. The result is children who are independent to face the world’s challenges like themselves.
ENTJ Family Structure
ENTJs, unlike some other personalities, do not believe in the traditional hierarchy of family roles. They will create a family structure that they believe is the best fit in their view. This is applicable to both male and female ENTJs. Sometimes, this may even involve swapping gender roles since breaking rules is a common trait found in commander personalities.
Since planning and organizing comes naturally to them, ENTJs are forthcoming when it comes to setting up vacations or outings for the children. They also have the habit of creating schedules for children and stick to it despite all odds. Their focus is on getting the home to be functioning in an orderly manner. So, you can even expect homes to be a secure environment.
ENTJs tend to set high standards for family members and in several cases these are hard to meet. The ENTJ wants to push people to achieve things but people may not accept this forceful nature. Since they lack in the emotional aspect, they tend to be unaware of what goes on in the minds of the people. So, they don’t understand the hurt they are causing others.
The lack of an emotional side is likely to be a source of issue for others who are more sensitive, especially if the children are highly emotional. Before enforcing anything, ENTJ personality individuals should remember that not everyone sees things the way they do. It is also not necessary that everything must be done the way they are.
Order loving ENTJ
ENTJ are very attached to keeping things in order. Therefore, any changes to the routine that they set or any error in the way they have structured things can irritate them. ENTJ personalities may experience problems in the family space because of them demanding others follow their orders. The commanders believe in controlling things and dislike it when others upset this.
There will be some more issue when it comes to children. ENTJs may find it difficult to be around children mainly because of the chaos they bring. Children are prone to be irrational and upset the normal order, things that ENTJs don’t like.
The solution to this is that the ENTJ has to accept that even though order is a good thing, they can’t always control things. This is particularly difficult when others are involved. If ENTJs want to motivate their family members and get them to be independent, they should try not to impose their views.
ENTJ parents are also very disciplinarian. They will easily be able to discipline children. Sometimes, they tend to have high expectation of the children and may become furious if they don’t meet it. In such cases, a partner with an emotional side can help the commander parent to understand the needs of children. When it comes to handling children, ENTJ parents need to be kinder, less harsh, more open to failure and gentle in their handling and feedback.
ENTJ and Emotional Support
Since ENTJ personality types view independence in a high regard, they will not provide the required emotional support that children may need. They are also terrible in reading emotions and when it comes to kids this may cause issues. Children who are open with their ENTJ parents will express their feeling of needing emotional assistance. The commander parent will try to work on this but will most likely not be able to.
It is not easy for children to be with ENTJ parents. Children are not typically good at the analytical skills and fall more in the emotional category. This is a sphere ENTJs find it difficult to cope with them. However, commanders tend to mold children into their own personalities. Their aim is to enable their children to grow up independent.
Children of an ENTJ parent who hasn’t developed his or her emotional side are likely to revolt simply because of the pressure that has been put on them. The children seek to escape from such oppressive environments.
ENTJs and Rules
Unlike other personalities, the ENTJ parent does not think of setting up a moral values system at home. Instead, the focus is on imbibing skills such as critical thinking, rational thought process and intellectual building in the children. They would like their children to be academically and professionally stable. Since these are the areas that an ENTJ finds valuable in people, they will work to imbibe these in the kids.
When children come to ENTJ parents to discuss or brainstorm, they are most happy. But at the end of the day, if that view is different, the commander expects that the children should respect their authority. People will still be expected to follow the pattern they have set even if they disagree.
ENTJ parents should work on their emotional sides when it comes to dealing with children. This is necessary because children are unable to express themselves properly and so the elder parent needs to buck up and show more patience. Because it is frustrating to deal with the irrational desires of a small human, sometimes ENTJs prefer not having kids at all. If they do, and they don’t work on creating a trusting relationship, the kids may grow up rebellious.
The ENTJ parent wants the child to follow his lead. No matter what, as a child, the ENTJ parent will expect that his children learn to respect him and uphold his opinions as doctrine. If there are household rules, the children must abide by them. As is the case with professional life, at home too, ENTJs tend to leave no room for error. When home rules are broken, commander personality parents will end up disciplining children.
Especially when it comes to children, ENTJs need to modify their behavior to be more accommodating. They also need to cut back on their attitude of keeping a hold on children if they want to see them independent. As children grow into adults, the ENTJ parent will have learn to let go.
The ENTJs who carefully recognize their pitfalls and work to cut them down end up being great parents. Not only are they not dominating and controlling but also provide the necessary motivation in life. The children remember these parents for helping them push the boundaries. It also creates children who are independent in life, an achievement that is likely to be the pinnacle of all challenges that an ENTJ parent might have taken in his entire life. Success of the children is as if the ENTJ parent has succeeded in his life.